1 Corinthians 3:12-15
Now if anyone builds on this foundation with gold, silver,precious stones, wood, hay,straw,each one’s work will become clear;for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire;and the fire will test each one’s work,of what sort it is. If anyone’s work which he has built on it endures, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire.
These verses were meant for the church leaders in Corinth, but as I read them earlier today, I could see a clear application in these for me, a Christian mother. My work in my home(as a wife, mom and home maker) matters, and my attitude that the work stems from impacts the quality with which I build foundations of our relationships within the home. I can choose to use sturdy material to build eternal and everlasting relationships, or I can choose to take the faster, easier way out and do the work, but with flimsy material that will not stand the test of time or trials. And there is only one sturdy, everlasting, eternal “construction material” for the relationships in our home, His name is Jesus Christ.
God has given me these precious babies in temporal bodies, yet with eternal souls. Therefore, everything we do for them, around them and with them, has an eternal impact. The value in our work, in our play, in our correction and love, in our care and nurture, comes from the nature of our role that God has created. The institution of marriage, the structure of family life, the God given authority as parents and the high calling of motherhood command dedication to the role.
As a mom, I can choose to step back from fulfilling my role in complete devotion citing reasons of a certain requirement of personality, financial aid or not having extra helpers around.
However, God sees our hearts.
And within this statement, within this truth, lie both, conviction and freedom.
If God sees my heart, and He does, He sees when I choose to disobey and He sees when I fail to obey. In failure to obey, there is mercy and grace and repentance and restoration and a fresh start. In the choice to disobey, there are natural consequences that we see in the faces and eyes and voices of our little imitators, and those consequences can be the channels of grace and mercy and repentance and restoration leading to a fresh start. Regardless of the path our journeys in motherhood take, there is one standard for all.
His standard.
That is the standard to uphold and that standard commands obedience in us which requires a teachable heart.
The souls we care for, the ones sleeping in their cribs, eating at our dinner tables, laughing on our hips, these souls are loved by the Creator of the Heavens and the earth and are made in His own image. These souls need to be shepherded devotedly. Here are some strategies that have been very helpful to me in cultivating “Devoted motherhood”.
1) Frequent comparison-
I’m not referring to the ‘comparison trap’, but I do often pause and take time to compare my current standard to God’s unchanging standard. You know that mom who you’re doing a better job than? Look at her and you’ll be ‘puffed up’. You know that mom who seems to be doing everything right and so well? Yes ‘seems to be’ is a key phrase here but do look to her and seek her wisdom to get closer to ‘His standard’. You will never meet His standard earth side, but I would rather judge myself by His standard than any other because I know following that standard alone is me attempting to fulfill my requirement to obey Him.
2) Godly older women-
Pray and seek to invite into your life 1 Godly older woman today. I don’t mean old women who know God. Godly older women are those who live out their lives in God’s ways. These are women who have clung to His design, His principles and His wisdom over their own in raising their children, submitting to their husbands, resolving conflicts, and keeping home. There are lots of older women eager to ‘serve the Lord’ by doing ministry work while neglecting the emotional and spiritual needs of their own family members. Seek counsel from women who you want to be like. Do you want your family to look like theirs? Do you want your relationships to look like theirs? Choose a few of these women and open your hearts to them; your struggles, sin issues, prayer requests in different seasons of life, your little success stories…. everything. We might find that there are so many emotions, interactions, thoughts and incidents in our lives that we are ‘managing’, without leaning into God’s wisdom. Let these women share in your burdens and in your joys.
3) Prayer-
Pray unceasingly as thoughts come into your mind…”Jesus help my children be kind today….help me be patient…Help me control my voice and temper….Help my husband have foresight in the little things…”
Pray devotedly and fervently. I follow prayer points to pray for my husband and children repeatedly, devoting short periods of time through the day to slow down, stop other things and meet with God in earnest prayer. Every few months, I repeat the cycle and pray using the prayer points and verse references on my prayer cards.
4) Seek His mercy, grace and forgiveness-
You will fail your children and your husband from time to time. Let it grieve you. See it for what it is; the sin that lives inside your heart. Hate it. Flee from it. Do NOT downplay it by looking at others around. Seek first His forgiveness and then the forgiveness of the others you sinned against. Repent. Seek His mercy and grace for a fresh start and start over.
“Our sins they are many….His mercy is more”
Here is how we seek forgiveness in our family. It helps us humble ourselves and grieve the sin instead of rambling out meaningless words with the sole intention to move on from the discomfort of the state of conflict.
” I am sorry. I sinned against God and you. I should not have done (xyz). That was wrong. I could have done (xyz) instead. Can you please forgive me?”
You remind yourself of God’s standard for relationships again. His standard for love.
“In this, the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” – 1 John 4:9-11
..and then you start over.
Do you feel motivated after reading this? Maybe not this but something else, maybe a podcast, or an article somewhere. You know what I’m talking about…being in that place where you feel you might actually wake up tomorrow and be a completely different person and everything will be perfect. It might also be that you’ve seen other moms efforts bearing fruit in her children’s lives and you now feel motivated to do the same for your children. Let this motivation cause you to pray fervently to Him who alone can cause true lasting change in our hearts. Once our hearts are changed, from it will stem changed actions for a renewed motherhood. Let us pray that He may take our motivation and convert it into lasting devotion so that we may be devoted mothers for His sake.
“For from Him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever!” – Romans 11:36